Praise Him!

Written by J. Beavis/C. Bancroft

Appears on “Post-Apocalyptic Love Songs” LP, 2016. Personnel: Jimi Beavis – vocals, banjo, BV; Chris Bancroft – guitar, handclaps, BV; Costas Constantinou – bass guitar, BV, handclaps; Scott Nosworthy – drums and percussion; Andrew Garton – horn arrangements, baritone saxophone, handclaps; Lachlan McKenzie – trumpet and handclaps; Peta Wilson – piano.  Steve Robin – engineered/produced/mixed/handclaps.

Sir don’t weep for me for I am not worthy

To be on my knees washing your feet

Lord please make him stay, so I can worship everyday

Give him thanks and praise, for he showed me the way

Offerings on the table by half past five

Offerings in the bedroom at half past nine

 

 

(PRAISE HIM) Praise his purdy mouth!

(PRAISE HIM) Praise his baby blues eyes!

(PRAISE HIM) Praise him when he comes to me!

(PRAISE HIM)  I am his prize!

 

I want to spread the word, the way he spreads my legs

Go forth, multiply, I will do my best

Please make me understand, mold me how you want

I am your clay to use day by day

And yours to command, show me your plan

Can’t wait to see, how you’re going to use me!

 

(PRAISE HIM) Praise his purdy mouth!

(PRAISE HIM) Praise his baby blues eyes!

(PRAISE HIM) Praise him when he comes to me!

(PRAISE HIM)  I am his prize!

 

I will bring you children to bounce on your knee

I will put you up on a cross, when you crucify me

Wake up early every morning make you toast and tea

I know you don’t mean it and I don’t mean make you angry

My love can set him free from the bonds that drive him crazy

I cannot run away now, I need him for the family

 

 

I Want You To Eat Me

Written by J. Beavis

Appears on “Post-Apocalyptic Love Songs” LP, 2016. Personnel: Jimi Beavis – vocals, banjo, BV; Chris Bancroft – guitar; Costas Constantinou – double bass; Scott Nosworthy – drums; Andrew Garton – horn arrangements, baritone saxophone; Lachlan McKenzie – trumpet; Peta Wilson – piano.  Steve Robin – engineered/produced/mixed

Well I’m so glad you’re all gathered here today: the solicitor called, she’s on her way

My children I love you and the joys you have brought, my family for the legacy that we’ve wrought

Yes old Aunt Mary who doesn’t know how to die; Cousin Barry,  by marriage, though I don’t know why;

My grandson and his friend, don’t worry I know they’re gay – I am going to die so I have one thing to say

I want you to eat me , please eat me, please do; you’ll  have to cook me up in a stew

Cos I’m probably too old and tough to chew: I want you to eat me, please eat me, please do

It’s cost effective,  no funeral needed, for the next three months don’t worry bout feeding

I should fill a freezer or two for a while – a  beautiful ritual to say goodbye

Oh they will tell you it’s wrong, that it is illegal but only in law, doesn’t mean it’s evil

Every part of me will be a part of you and everything I’ve done you’ll have done too

I want you to eat me , please eat me, please do; you’ll  have to cook me up in a stew

Cos I’m probably too old and tough to chew: I want you to eat me, please eat me, please do

When I pass into your mouth, I pass into your soul and you’ll pass me out into the hole,

Down in the ground we all go that’s all right, its like going home

The circle of life, what a wonderful world. eat food from the earth, returns to the soil

You’ll take my vessel, be one with my soul and down in the ground we all go

I want you to eat me , please eat me, please do; you’ll  have to cook me up in a stew

Cos I’m probably too old and tough to chew: I want you to eat me, please eat me, please do

You Must Not Try To Know

Written by J. Beavis
Appears on “Post-Apocalyptic Love Songs ” LP, 2016. Personnel: Jimi Beavis – vocals, percussion; Chris Bancroft – guitar; Costas Constantinou – bass guitar; Scott Nosworthy – drums and percussion; Andrew Garton – horn arrangements, baritone saxophone; Lachlan McKenzie – trumpet; Steve Robin – engineered/produced/mixed.
John left early in the morning at a quarter past three
He had a shovel and a shotgun in the backseat
Going off to Windsor to seek vengeance with the man
Who took his job and his love from his clutching hands
He’d pushed pens round a ledger but then he’d never asked for much
He’d never counted cranes and he’d never worked the Dutch
No-one ever told him he had to kiss the arse that fed him
Backslap Ned the Screamer and drink the shine at his wedding
But he’d asked questions of the incident, not satisfied with the reply
So when it came to the purge he was first on the line
For you must not try to know how the devil wears his clothes
And you must not try to understand what words the Devil chose or why he chooses them
They offered him the lot if he didn’t ask why
But he didn’t need the salt and his mouth was already dry
They said you must leave and not look back now
He blessed himself while they bled a cow
As he took his office papers from his old desk
He said “I’ve seen his face and I know who he is”
So they sent after him the youngest interns
Hips of gold and lips of myrrh
And they beckoned with wine and their sweet kisses and they lay with him red succubus
In the morning they rose with seed inside and he could not talk and he could not cry
For you must not try to know how the devil wears his clothes
And you must not try to understand what words the Devil chose or why he chooses them
So now he’s ‘cross the river, he’s driving through Herston
With a crucifix and a shovel for the gnomish grin
Arriving before 4, John drove him from his bed
He demanded explanation, light shined from the devilled egg
The man said “you don’t understand, we’ve spent beyond our means
… We need to sack some workers to pay for unemployment schemes.”
Then his hair was white as snow as he stabbed John in the eyes
He poured oil on the wound then covered it up with lies
pre-chorus
His eyes were seven stars, his tongue was a spade
He said “I am going to eat your heart…with a bowl of Nutri Grain.”
For you must not try to know how the devil wears his clothes
And you must not try to understand what words the Devil chose or why he chooses them

Acerbate

Written by J. Beavis

Appears on “Post-Apocalyptic Love Songs ” LP, 2016. Personnel: Jimi Beavis – vocals, slide guitar, BV; Chris Bancroft – guitar; Costas Constantinou – bass guitar; Scott Nosworthy – drums and percussion; Andrew Garton – horn arrangements, baritone saxophone; Lachlan McKenzie – trumpet; Alex Price – baritone saxophone; Peta Wilson – piano. Steve Robin – engineered/produced/mixed.

In the early 40s, between the wars, she won our hearts, more than just a horse

Little hope for soldiers to return alive, Acerbate made grown men and women cry

44 was the last cup they would have for a while – the battle came and went, carving the country like a knife

We had nothing to live and fight for, Tommy gave us Acerbate… Soon we shot the invaders to the rhythm of her gait

 

 

She would have beaten Diva two times out of every three

Never saw the vet out of routine

18 hands for height, her heart 14 pounds

Tommy lived for every morning to see her pound dust from the ground

 

The war came and when it left, half a million less – Crops nearly gone, the harvest wasn’t long

Even Abbott’s grand-niece had to watch the stores, no help except for grain came from other shores

Sometimes Tommy hunted emu, sometimes kangaroo, eventually they ate rice that tasted like glue

Acerbate never starved, Tommy made sure of that but soon she lost her shiny coat and the little of her fat

He said ‘she’s part of the family – she said you won’t have one if you don’t slit her throat

You’ve kept that horse in good condition but she’s eaten all our dough

She’ll be high in protein and would make 10 good roasts

 

She would have beaten Diva two times out of every three

Never saw the vet out of routine

18 hands for height, her heart 14 pounds

Tommy lived for every morning to see her pound dust from the ground

 

It’s hard to sharpen a knife, when you’re crying enough to boil a bucket of tears, gleaming metal leers

But when there’s a drought and your water is out you still need to sanitise, food and family, prioritise

Lean and high in iron, smells real good when you’re frying… roll em, add Pecorino and a bottle of wine

Make a stew, onion, garlic, flank, collar, topside; if we can trade for flour, maybe a horsemeat pie

She would have beaten Diva two times out of every three

Never saw the vet out of routine

18 hands for height, her heart 14 pounds

It sits next to Phar Lap’s and if you want to see em head on down to the national museum

 

Just Because It’s Over

Written by J. Beavis/S. Robin

Appears on “Post-Apocalyptic Love Songs ” LP, 2016. Personnel: Jimi Beavis – vocals; Chris Bancroft – guitar; Costas Constantinou – bass guitar; Scott Nosworthy – drums and percussion; Andrew Garton – horn arrangements, baritone saxophone; Lachlan McKenzie – trumpet; Alex Price – tenor saxophone; Peta Wilson – piano, organ. Chris Palmer and Kate Mackie – BV. Steve Robin – engineered/produced/mixed.

This hand that held yours tiny as rain – I hold it to the sun as she sleeps on

In the wake of the brandy song – Her skin a shimmering white

She breathes in where you used to – She breathes out trust and innocence

Her hair a sea of curls that wrap around my thumb – Almond eyes, scent of cinnamon

 

Just because you’re gone, doesn’t mean that you’re forgotten

Just because it is over, doesn’t mean that it was wrong

 

I won’t tell anyone what you told me, when you drank more wine than your weight

I won’t let anyone hold me, how you did that night by the gate

That was the day of Tom’s passing down and we’d all had a little too much to think

And after you’d made your announcement they called for a tune but I couldn’t sing

 

Just because you’re gone – Doesn’t mean that you’re forgotten

Just because it is over  – Doesn’t mean that it was wrong

 

I’ve had too mornings since then, cradling the head of the night before

Spent too many hours with a pen, writing your name but no more

I’ve loved more times than I remember, but none hold a candle to your letter

I’ve found a car that doesn’t need petrol… I’m leaving but I’m keeping that lock of your hair

 

 

Just because you’re gone – Doesn’t mean that you’re forgotten

Just because it is over  – Doesn’t mean that it was wrong

They Can’t Take Our Pride

Written by J. Beavis

Appears on “Post-Apocalyptic Love Songs ” LP, 2016. Personnel: Jimi Beavis – vocals, slide guitar; Chris Bancroft – guitar; Costas Constantinou – bass guitar; Scott Nosworthy – drums and percussion; Andrew Garton – horn arrangements, baritone saxophone; Lachlan McKenzie – trumpet; Alex Price – tenor saxophone; Peta Wilson – piano, organ. Chris Palmer and Kate Mackie – BV. Steve Robin – engineered/produced/mixed.

I met a woman, back in 0-5, she loved me true, first time in my life

She had the blackest hair, bluest eyes, we were crazy lovers, we laughed and we cried

I’ll never forget that night she smiled, said I’m gonna love you til the day I die

 

I was singing the blues, but the blues didn’t pay, we were just living in any old way

No money for night, no money for day – we had to fight to keep the taxman at bay

That’s when she told me – that she had a child on the way

 

I worked a factory, she a supermarket, wolves howled at our door while we choked on our bile

Sometimes I’d get home from gigs at a quarter to one, we’d hold each other til the daylight come

Hey, they can take our money, but they can’t take our pride

 

One month go and we’d have a little baby, she had to stop work for a while

We just tightened our belts, ate noodles, we lived life on the edge of a knife

They can take our food, but they can’t take our pride

 

I had to sell my house just to keep my car, our clothes fell apart so I sold my guitar

Now the landlord’s complaining bout our crying child, he pushed me once, well man that’s too far

You may take our house, but you can’t take our pride

 

We’ve got each other that’s all we need, we’ve got love, that’s all we need

We’ve got each other, that’s all we need, we’ve got love, that’s all we need

They can take our life, but they can’t take our pride!

 

Mary’s Daughter

Written by J. Beavis

Appears on “Post-Apocalyptic Love Songs” LP, 2016. Personnel: Jimi Beavis – vocals; Chris Bancroft – tenor banjo; Cam Milne – sousaphone; Lachlan McKenzie – trumpet, trombone; Andrew Garton – horn arrangements, clarinet; Steve Robin – drums and engineered/produced/mixed.

He’d had a local woman who’d nursed her pa to death

She sewed for petty cash and prayed every day for sweet rest

She had a daughter with a drifter who never the held child at all

There  were calluses on her knees and a loaded rifle in the hall

 

They never proved he did it,  but I don’t need a smoking gun

You could tell just by looking at him that there was something quite wrong

Some say he ate meat from the horses that died on his farm

That he had two kinds of grapes growing in his vineyard

 

We were mistrustful of his beard for he had no moustache

And greeted every person  with a smile and a laugh

Be it whores, winos, or darkies…  preachers or the boy with lemonade cart

Din’t make no discrimination, seemed he couldn’t tell them apart

 

The girl was the prettiest thing west of McDonnell’s Crossing

Whenever they came into town,  she’d  skip ahead, dancing ’round

Her mother’s dresses,  light as feathers

That shimmered amd floated when she ran

 

Her ma was  quiet and kind. . .  I used to drink with her pa

With a kid like that she must have had the goodness in her

He was just past 40 when he wed Mary, the girl was around 13

But he’d never been married before,  if you know what I mean.

 

Jane the Thread found that poor girl up by Dinkler’s Field

Skirt up round the head amd her panties round her knees

He claimed innocence, they never could find anything,  but we knew what it was

You can’t trust a man like that,  accusing the preacher’s boys

 

A bastard like that changes a town, when the devil takes away his mask

Well Mary, she hanged herself in her daughter’s room

Nobody would buy his growing, Then he couldn’t farm for all the drinking

Sold it to an outer towner,  been living on the streets ever since.

 

He lurks the streets at night begging money for wine

Keeping good folks awake with his wailing and his crying

Don’t pity him,  I  tell ya,  won’t do any good  round here

All you need to know is on his face right there in front of ya

 

He’s guilty where he stands.

I’m sure of that.  I’m sure  of that. As i am sure of anything.

Kissed Her Lips For The Last Time

Written by J. Beavis

Appears on “Post-Apocalyptic Love Songs” LP, 2016. Personnel: Jimi Beavis – vocals; Chris Bancroft – guitar; Costas Constantinou – bass guitar; Paul Renton – slide guitar. Steve Robin – drums and engineered/produced/mixed.

Brought her some water, the least I could do

And I held it to her lips, And kissed her for the last time

Love is sanctified it says - I must be patient and kind it says –

…but tell me how do you say good bye like this

 

And she held my hand. She held my hand and I kissed it

I kissed her lips for the last time. Oh for the last time

 

We met walking through the green – Her hair blowing in the wind

My rosary vows, The crucifix on my brow. I believed in the lord again

Later that night with a wine glass under the porch light

We talked til the sun came through the trees

 

And for the first time I did know that she was the holy sister And she took me in her arms and I kissed her

I kissed her lips for the first time. Oh, for the first time

 

When it came, took one in every hundred –  it had no mercy

Three of us, one guard, one slept,  one with a wet cloth and her misery

But no sister, no brother, no parents came to her and I know all because of me

The clock stopped ticking when the dam burst… they say it was the revolutionaries

 

Only once as she lay dying did she speak their names in anger

I told her,  everything I knew to take away the fever

But in the end all I could do was take her hand in mine

Held a glass of water to her lips and I kissed her for the last time

 

Got No Hands, Got No Feet

Written by J. Beavis

Appears on “Post-Apocalyptic Love Songs” LP, 2016. Personnel: Jimi Beavis – vocals, harmonica; Chris Bancroft – guitar; Costas Constantinou – bass guitar; Steve Robin – drums and engineered/produced/mixed.

Ain’t got no hands, ain’t got no feet

Doing the nation shuffle down the street

Wake up at night with Remembrance Day screams

And I can’t wear poppies cos they make me sneeze

 

Everywhere I went carried a photo of my kids

I can’t look them in the eye and tell em what I did

I dreamed of being back in the footy stands

When I get there, can’t clap, cos I don’t have hands

 

I only wanted to make money as part of a team

But I can’t really tell you what that means

I only wanted to serve, do the righteous thing

But…  shame ways my eyes… I can’t look at the flag…

… And never again will I sing…

One Night Stand

Written by J. Beavis

Appears on “Post-Apocalyptic Love Songs” LP, 2016. Personnel: Jimi Beavis – vocals; Chris Bancroft – guitar; Costas Constantinou – bass guitar; Scott Nosworthy – drums; Andrew Garton – horn arrangements, baritone saxophone; Lachlan McKenzie – trumpet; Peta Wilson – piano.  Steve Robin – engineered/produced/mixed.

Met her in a pub off the Queen St mall

She was lean, she caused a scene on the dance floor

She said “What ya having?” I said “Kilkenny”

She said “How much?” I said “ well Many”

When she asked me back I said “ try a little harder?”

“How bout hot food and cold lager?”

One night stand, One night stand – What is there to understand?

Understand, understand – there’s nothing better than a one night stand

She was thirty and dirty and I was 24

She didn’t mind that I was quick on the draw

She took my number said she’d call me

I didn’t see her for at least another three

weeks

She’s back at the bar saying “Hey big boy!”

“You’re as big as that book by Leo Tolstoy! ”

Two night stand, two night stand – what is there to understand?

Understand, understand – there’s nothing better than a two night stand

Well I guess she was a lonely lady

When she trembled she wasn’t faking

I guess she’d been hurt, but she didn’t like to

talk

You could just tell by the way she walked

So it was Saturday at four, and she knocked

on my door

I didn’t mind that she was back for more

Three night stand, three night stand – what is there to understand?

Understand, understand – there’s nothing better than a three night stand.

A week went by, I nearly cried when she

didn’t call

I guess she’d taken me for a fall

But when she called me, she started going

crazy

She said something about having my baby!

She said “now that you’re’ gonna be my man”

It’d better be more than a three-night stand

Four night stand, four night stand – what is there to understand?

Understand, understand – there’s nothing better than a four-night stand.

After a year of loving and a healthy child

I was startin to get a little tired

I went back to that bar, swallowing hard

I’m not sure what I was looking for

Well she was blonde, six foot, eyes like a

dream!

I didn’t mind that she was only 18.

One night stand, one night stand – what is there to understand

Understand, understand – there’s nothing better than a one night stand.